A friend of mine recently wrote a blog about Career Limiting Maneuvers (CLMs) at the office holiday party. We had a doozie at our holiday party this week. For once, it wasn't me, but that doesn't mean I didn't get stuck in the middle.
To put things into perspective - I work in publishing in the UK, the last bastion of the three martini lunch. Or rather the three bottle of wine lunch. It's not uncommon for 80% of the office to disappear "down the pub" for a couple of hours around lunch on a Friday. Not for any kind of meeting - just because it's Friday and it's lunch. Though food is rarely involved. I mention this only to give you a frame of reference - the limit acceptable drunkenness at the holiday party is exceptionally higher than at your standard office shindig.
The plan for our holiday party seemed fairly standard - drinks & secret santa at the office, dinner at 7 at local restaurant, then onto a bar up the road to end the evening. To cut a long story short, a very thin girl forgot what her limits were, and basically passed out, non-responsive, in the restaurant. Smacking, shaking, shouting - nothing was getting this girl's eyeballs facing the right direction in her head. Paramedics are called, girl carried out on gurney & taken to local hospital.
Somehow - I and another guy ended up with her at the hospital. That whole process is another story for another day. Now - it's been a long time since I've been in the ER (called A&E here) let alone between the hours of 12:00 and 4:00 in the morning. Seriously - next weekend, buy a six pack, take a cab, and pass a late night in the ER of your local hospital. It's the most entertainment I've had in a long time.
Sitting in the waiting room, we had an Amy Winehouse wannabe who was either delusional or on some seriously good drugs. She told the attendant that Dr. Khan was her doctor, "but sometimes he pretends not to be." She also asked the attendant, after giving her date of birth, whether or not he thought she was getting old. Seven times.
There was also a guy with a whacking great head wound - blood running down his face, gauze around the head. He looked like something out of an episode of MASH. Standard emergency room stuff. Except he just kept taking strolls outside...wandering around like he was waiting for someone else. I'd hate to see that guy.
My favorite actually almost sent me to the exam rooms for an injury. Sitting peacefully in the waiting room waiting for the taxi to take me and Drunky McDrunkerson home (which, by the way, was a £100 fare when all was said and done) I suddenly hear a bang and see a piece of cell phone fly dangerously close to my head. Looking around the corner (but still in the waiting room) I see a guy on his knees clutching his head and screaming "I had too much wiiiiiine!!!! I had too much aaaacid!!!!" Nice. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that acid and wine are not the best of all possible combinations.
Finally made it home at 5:00. Let's just say I was late into work. Really late. But I made it in time for Friday night drinks.
We'll never learn.
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2 comments:
Aside from the cab fare, be happy that you live in London. Our last trip to the ER for an ear ache cost us over $700, $50 of which was for drugs administered....Tylenol. I could have bought about 15 bottles of the stuff at those prices. Ah, the beauty of privatized health insurance. Whee!
Yeah - there is that. She came in in the ambulance, and when it was time to leave, all they said was "see ya!"
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